Mar 15, 2012

If Richard had a Superpower... ~ by guest blogger Longhairedtoad

As I sit here and wonder in my artless, obsessed fan way, I can’t help but guess what superpower Richard Armitage would have. There are so many kinds to contemplate and consider, of course. We can go with the basic ones like invisibility, for example. But honestly, would you really want to have those sigh worthy looks disappear in a moment’s notice? God forbid we would lose the opportunity to enjoy viewing RA, whether it be a prolonged sighting or a quick glimpse. Invisibility is really something I prefer to have instead. Who wouldn’t want the power to hide in a moment’s notice and at the same time be able to walk right up to his ‘Lusciousness’ and view him without hindrance or interruption?
What about Telekinesis, the mental capability to move objects? Now that’s something to consider, RA with the ability to move objects and people as he sees fit. It has possibilities, both positive and negative. Physical feats would no longer be a problem for him. There are so many physical feats I can imagine him doing at the moment. Oh dear me, those wicked thoughts do come at the most inopportune times don’t they. But to get back to my point, I really don’t think having it would do RA justice. Telekinesis is another superpower I would rather have instead. The damage I could do. ‘Snickers Wickedly’
So what else is there? How about the ability to breath underwater? Interesting, but to what purpose would that serve? Off hand, the promise of constantly having RA wet! Envision it, RA rising from the foamy waves of the ocean. His chest, abdomen, arms, and thighs are covered in hundreds of thin, watery streams. His skin glistens. His hair is slicked back into a black skull cap. His muscles become much more defined from the watery film. His glorious jaw and neck drip with hundreds of droplets. It’s a sight as alluring as the most majestic waterfall. Oh where, oh where is that towel?

Now these superpowers are all well and good, but if you really think about it, they are quite ordinary. So many super heroes possess similar qualities. Wouldn’t you want RA to have a unique kind?

I believe he has one. His is a superpower is undefined at present or at least, it is not a recognized one. To a lesser degrees, some do possess something similar, but nowhere near as powerful. So what do I refer to? It’s simple really. Think Tall, Dark, and Handsome? What automatically what follows? ‘Broodiness’ Yes, yes, yes, it’s the power to render the most sensible fan from being a normal, breathing person to a heaping mass of wobbly jello. Now don’t tell me you don’t know what I mean.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt that tingling sensation, which starts in our bellies and quickly escalates when RA flashes those baby-blues. He often follows with the angry stare. Sometimes it’s tinged with a hint of curiosity or has a dash of confusion. The intensity of his look is always just enough to make you gasp. Whether you’re young or old, married or single, alone or in a crowd of hundreds, the effect is the same. Your jaw slacks open. A dribble of saliva emerges or not. Every person reacts differently. Some develop cold and clammy hands. For others, deep blushing occurs and eyes sparkle. Coherent thought is usually unreliable, and chances of muttering nonsensical comments are high. In some rare cases, the urge to pucker your lips happens. I can’t say it’s happened with me, but some friends have declared it is fact. I know they were imagining things.

Now tell me, how many superheroes can boast of a power that can render a whole generation of women speechless at the same time? Even Superman in his prime could only boast of lifting a trailer truck in one hand and Lois Lane in another. The ‘Broodiness’ superpower is simply indescribable as it attacks without warning and leaves a lasting effect, which has been known to thrive for years. No known cure has yet been found, thank God!

Did someone say spandex?
There isn’t even a need to wear the superhero uniform. Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve got nothing against spandex. The image of RA in tight spandex has its merits. There’s no denying his chest and abdomen, not to mention those manly thighs would be amply emphasized. The tush factor is always a plus too. But no further accessories like a cape, is necessary. RA’s look is perfectly situated in black jeans, black top, and black boots. Simplicity at it’s best.

To prove my point, imagine this. RA stands before you. His back faces you at first. The singularly perfect backside is still. Without warning, there is a slight movement of muscles undulating beneath the denim. Suddenly his neck stiffens. He senses someone behind him and prepares to unleash the ‘Broodiness’ superpower. His hands remain dangling at his sides and his legs are apart. Ever so slowly, his head turns. We catch just a glimpse of his profile and instantly our breathing grows unsteady.
Behold the power of the Super Brood!
The finely chiseled jaw line, those cheekbones looked like they’ve been carved from stone. Thick, black lashes hide his eyes but slowly the eyelids are raised and we see blue. His gaze is down and his expression is neutral for the moment. We know a change coming. His head turns some more and the aquiline nose is now fully exposed. The tip is so alluring I feel a pucker coming on. Just one kiss please! His eyes dart upward and before you know it they are fixed you with a hard stare. You’re tingling. Yes, you are. If you’re standing within a group, someone will undoubtedly sigh. Another person will giggle. All of you will feel lightheaded at first as the tingling sensation grows. It gains strength that the person on your right puckers too. You, on the other hand, are beyond that. His stare turns more intense. It’s as though RA sees inside of you. Now you’re a goner.

For just a moment, he twists his head again, from side to side. It’s a small thing, almost not worth noticing but you cannot dismiss it. He takes a deep breath while you struggle to find yours. For a second it seems he will say something but he doesn’t. There is a look of confusion on his face and the trace of anger grows more prominent. It doesn’t matter at this point if he’s angry with you or the person behind you. You’ve been hit. The ‘Broodiness’ superpower renders you speechless. You do not speak, you do not move. You can do nothing until he turns away. Even then you do not recover but wait, like the helpless victim you are, to be hit again.

Now tell me, is this not a superpower to equal Superman’s superhuman strength or no?

I think it is or maybe this really isn’t a superpower and I’m just thinking too much. Perhaps we’ll never really know. All I do know is I’m still puckering. Yes, I believe I am and I’m certain I’m not the only one.

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About the Guest Blogger~Liza aka Longhairedtoad/LHT:
I currently reside in the Bay Area of Northern California.
My hobbies vary from baking and sewing, to traveling, reading,
and writing some fanfic. (Featured on the Dreamer Fiction forum.)
I've been an RA fan ever since I saw him in North and South.
One look and I was a goner.

Nat's Notes:  LHT and I are old NJTS forum buddies. (Not Just Toby Stephens Fans.) 
That was the first forum I ever joined and I met a lot of fun, smart women there who shared my love of RA! 
Unfortunately the NJTS forum was closed within the year that I joined. :(  Anyway, LHT was among those
ladies who made me think and laugh. I've read a few of  her fanfics, which made me blush! :) 
I love how she can paint a picture with her words.  Thanks, Liza!


BKJ said...

Power to brood indeed! Loved this!

pervyshirly said...

i think richard's super ego should be 'naked man' and he could just walk around in the buff. oh yeah!

BKJ said...

On 2nd thought- I'm all for pervyshirly's idea!

Nat at RA FanBlog said...

Okay, ladies... just let me find the right screencap for that! haha. :)

I love Liza's post too! You can tell that she's a good fanfic writer. :)

Trudy said...

Loved it, Liza! What a description! I think you captured 'the power', whatever it is -well.

UK Expat said...

Loved this piece, Liza - any chance you could take up the banner and be a continued guest blogger on Nat's site? Although, admittedly, I'd likely be the one giggling in your 'broodiness' scenario above! :)

I never appreciated how many are from CA here (I worked in Berkeley in the late '90s) and my flight route into the US is LHR-LAX these days.

Like Servetus, I was handed a stack of DVDs during very stressful work times (but only last year). My DVD benefactor is a history grad student (damn those historians!) and among the stack of DVDs was N&S (although reading Nat's note, I should mention that when she visited me in London last year, she did see Toby Stephens @ Nude Espresso).

I feel like a new arrival at a party that's been going on for almost 8 years now, so it's great fun to read through all of your wonderful creative works!!

mulubinba said...

Great interview. Thanks Nat and Liza!!

Phoebe said...

Lisa - Great Post with Lots of chuckles! Loved the Superman photo!

Like to suggest collecting Lobster Bibs to wear when you know you are going to rewatch Season 2 of Robin Hood. I always wear one while trying to see all 3000+ fan vids!

gracie said...

I loved this piece. Liza is an excellent writer and I am looking forward to reading more of her work. And Nat, your blog is excellent fun.

CDoart said...

I fully agree with you, Liza. RA already has a superpower. Thank you for this wonderful post, Liza and Nat!

Violet8886 said...

Liza you did a really good job and you are right, Broodiness is a superpower at least in how Richard uses it...It's magnetic and can't look away..:):)

I like that you posted the pic with Richard in that blue shirt and jeans..very broody in that pic, yet it's not threatening..just hot.

Kudos to you in your guest posting! :)

The Queen/NovemberBride said...

Fantastic guest post!! Those eyes, those eyes...
Does anyone else start humming with Thorin when Nat's music comes on? Probably just me...

bccmee said...

If I had a superpower, I would be able to eat whatever I want and not gain weight!

RA has a plethora of superpowers. ♥

Gratiana Lovelace said...

Giggles, LHT!
Dare I admit that you described my own reactions to Richard Armitage's powerful persona to a "T"? The "T" is for trembling. Ha!
Cheers! Grati ;->

Anonymous said...

Great interview, LHT and Nat. He already is a superhero, do you think?


Servetus said...

Didn't he say he thought he had a unique ability to blend into the crowd or be invisible or something? But I definitely prefer this particular superpower! And yeah, I kinda think he already has it. Great post!

Joanna said...

Really funny and witty interview,thank you Lisa and Nat!
Forse is strong in him!:)
Richard AMORritage;)

Joanna said...

Oh God!..the force!..the force! sorry!

lostinbooks (siouxsiesioux) said...

I'm having troubles moving on from "spandex" and "toosh" - not at all like me, haven't a clue what's come over me, maybe it's someone's invisibility cloak! Now there's a wish!!

Anonymous said...

I just laughed til i cried and had a stitch!!! Brood power- brilliantly written; very witty. Thanks.