Jan 4, 2015

Nat's Take on Battle of the Five Armies


*Spoilers, of course.*
I wrote this last week, but just now getting around to posting.


It’s Christmas Eve’s Eve,
and I have a million things I should be doing,
but all day long, my mind has been on
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Hot Guys...

Fili & Kili count as one for inclusion purposes.

...I mean ARMIES.


I couldn’t sleep last night after seeing it.

I don’t know if it’s because I took an afternoon nap,
 or all that Mountain Dew I drank at the theater,
but my mind was wide awake until 2 am,
 consumed with the movie I had just seen.


I looked at all The Hobbit fan art I could access online.
I watched fan videos on YouTube.
I obsessively tweeted about my Thorin Feels.


Please tell me you are as pathetic as me!

There are a few things I think would have improved this movie, 
which I’ll mention in a bit, but overall, I enjoyed it.  
(Despite being in mourning over the 3 handsome dwarfs, 
which I knew was coming, though I was still in denial.)

I feel like I need to go back and watch the movie again 
to really let it sink in, but as of now, the parts that have 
stuck out in my mind are the following:



*Bard opening a can of whoop-ass on Smaug.
You get 'em, Bard!


*Kili and Tauriel’s farewell by the lake.
I was not a fan of this pairing until I saw this scene.
The way Kili gazes (up) into her eyes is so sweet.
And then Legolas is all, "Get away from my woman, you little punk!"
I have to admit, between the two, I'd choose Legolas!

*Thorin going cray-cray with dragon sickness.
Snap out of it, Thorin before they send you to the loony bin!


*Bilbo’s facial expressions
Martin Freeman is SO brilliant.  All of the little twitches
and body movements he does as Bilbo are great.  My favorite
in this movie was the nose twitch.

*Thorin's smile in this movie!
You can't really see his smile in this pic, but you can see it in his eyes.
Despite all the craptastic stuff happening, it seemed like Thorin smiled more
in this movie than the others.  As in, full-teeth smile.  There were a few times
when he was talking to Bilbo when he unleashed THE SMILE and then
this moment... which looked like Thorin and Kili were going to give
each other an Eskimo kiss... I loved seeing Thorin's smile!


*Thandruil’s snobby awesomeness
So Thranduil is pretty much a jerk.  But I love him.
He's just too fabulous, with those flowing locks, "I don't give a crap" attitude
and chopping orc's heads off left and right.  The guy is scary and powerful
and does actually have a soft side, as we see at the end of the movie.


*Dain showing up in his 
hog-riding glory and head-butting everyone.
The mohawk & tusk mustache was an added bonus.


*Thorin snapping out of his nuttiness.


*Alfrid’s comic relief.  He’s like the Worm Tongue of The Hobbit series
as the greasy sidekick... only less creepy 
and more icky.
Alfrid in all his hunched, unibrowed glory.

*Bilbo taking matters into his own hands
I enjoyed seeing Bilbo doing what he felt needed to be done...
like taking the Arkenstone to bring peace and telling Gandalf not to boss him around.

*Fili’s death and Kili’s reaction.
My heart sank when Fili was killed.
Though I knew it was coming, I wasn't ready.
Then I sort of sat through the rest of the movie feeling a bit numb.


*Kili’s death and Tauriel’s reaction
I know that many Tolkien fans are upset that Fili and Kili
didn't die defending Thorin like in the book.  I, however, haven't
read the book, so this story line didn't bother me.  It was bittersweet and
meant to tug at the heartstrings.  And it did!  *sniff*


*Thorin’s death and Bilbo’s reaction
 Surprisingly, I was fine during Thorin's fight & death scene...
until Bilbo started trying to point out the eagles to Thorin and then
hung his head and sobbed over the loss of his friend.
I was crushed!  Crushed, I tell you!!!


There are two things I wish 
would have been included in this movie~


First of all, where in the heck was THIS scene?  

They shouldn't show something in the trailer
and then not include it in the movie!



Also, I am most disappointed about not seeing 
the funeral/feast in honor of Thorin and his nephews.   
I bet it will be included on the extended version, but that’s
like a year away 
from being released, I’ll betchya! 



"The Death of Thorin Oakenshield" by Darrell Sweet

In the book, Thorin is buried in the Lonely Mountain.

Bard places the Arkenston on his chest and Thranduil lays
Orcrist on the tomb.  I know this because my 9 year old son HAS
read the book. :)  WHY WAS THIS NOT INCLUDED?
I would have appreciated this closure.  It would have healed a 
little of my mourning-over-a-fictional-character heartache.


Despite my complaints, like I said before,
I did love this movie 
and give it a thumbs up, for sure.

I saw it twice and enjoyed it more the second time.
If you haven't seen it yet, go!  Then report back and tell
me what you think.  For those who have seen it,
what was your favorite part?

12 comments:

Servetus said...

I'm in agreement with a lot of these things. Everytime I've seen I've been so bummed about Thorin's death, even though I knew and know he is going to die.

perry said...

I agree with almost all your comments, especially the deleted scenes - I needed that funeral to morn properly.

perry said...

oops, make that mourn.

Gratiana Lovelace said...

I abosolutely wanted a viking funeral type scene for Thorin. And I also wondered about the chariots. Ha!

Posting your link in a comment to my review. Cheers!

Kathy J said...

I agree with everything you said. But I cried during the death scene with Bilbo, not sobbing, but it bummed me out for days, in fact, I have seen movie multiple times and I still get teary. Knowing what would happen did not help me at all. I read book but I am not a purist so deviations didn't bother me. I thought PJ would kill of Taureil, though, because I thought elves died of grief, so she was doomed anyway.

Widoedm53 said...

I agree with your observations too. So much was left out and the funeral being a big one! But we all know that part is being saved for the EE which they know EVERYONE wants to see. Another small thing missing was Gandalf never got the chance to tell Thorin that he saw Thrain and he said he loved his son. I was also disappointed in Thorin's reaction (or lack of) to the death of Fili (he at least cried out "noooo" to Thror being slain) and I don't think he was even aware of Kili's death. He was busy fighting Azog. The other part that bothered me was Bilbo was just going to leave without saying goodbye...after all they'd been through together! And he seems to be leaving BEFORE the funeral from the way Balin talks. I did love the acorn scene. It was beautiful in its simplicity and seeing Thorin's eyes light up with affection for Bilbo and break into that stunning smile showed there was still a small part of his true self not tainted by the gold sickness. And then that light goes dim. So sad. I've seen the movie 5 times now and I'm still not over Thorin's death scene with Bilbo. There is so much more but I've already made this comment a bit too long.

Joanna said...

I didn't cry at all...only my favorite scarf was very wet

Nat at RA FanBlog said...

Thank you all for your thoughts! :)

Serv, thanks for the link & yes, I lived to tell the tale. No sobbing myself to death... no ugly crying either, thank heavens!

Perry, I just wish they'd put ALL the scenes in up front instead of making us wait for the extended editions!

Gratiana, thanks for the link. Yes, we need a very grand funeral for our Thorin.

Kathy, I thought PJ would kill off Tauriel too! I was surprised that didn't happen.

Widoedm53, nice to "meet" you. I loved your comment. You very eloquently described a few things I thought of but skipped over. The acorn scene was great! Your comment wasn't too long. :)

Joanna, those damp scarves are so annoying, aren't they!?

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