Aug 30, 2010

Grand Plans for "The Richard Room"

In response to the "Confessions" post last week
(where I mentioned I only own one RA item),
blog reader littlevictories made the following comment:

Nat, are you kidding me? I've always pictured you getting ready to write your blog sitting in your "Richard Room" surrounded by all of his works (including the most obscure) with a GoG action figure on your lap, wearing a Harry Sweater (and perhaps some Lee-like Speedos), polishing a Porter pistol, leaning back on a pillow with RA's face cross-stitched on the fabric while admiring your life-sized wax figure of John Thornton and watching N&S on television (all this after assembling with your congregation of RA converts). Now that image is shattered.

After laughing out loud,
I realized LV is on to something there!
I will be informing my husband that when we build a new
house next year, I NEED a "Richard Room" equipped
with everything listed above.  (I mean, why would I want a
boring sewing/craft room or worse, a fishing room/man-cave
when I could have a beloved Richard Room!?)

All I have to do is start collecting the stuff to supply such a shrine.

Let's see...
aside from the obvious,
(my computer desk and computer for RA blogging, etc.),
I will need to round up the following:

A "Harry Sweater" to wear in this room,
which must be striped and fuzzy.
Here's a feminine version from Old Navy:
Why did Harry have to wear horizontal stripes?
That's not going to help my figure, although
I will feel so warm and cozy... like Harry.

Plus, a "Lee-like Speedo"
to wear at the same time as the Harry sweater:
$34.00 for a tiny piece of spandex!?

Sweater + speedo...
I may be onto a new fashion trend.

I'll alternate the above ensemble with my
"I found my thrill at Marlborough Mills" t-shirt
which I'll wear while sipping from
"The Helstone-Milton Line" mug.
(Both available here.)

Anyone know where I can get a Little Guy action figure
and/or pillow featuring RA's cross-stitched face?
I have a feeling those things are hard to come across.
(Any cross-stitchers want to volunteer for this project?)
At least I know someone has made an RA rag doll
I can add to my collection... even though I find it a bit creepy.
And THIS etsy seller has RA pendants available,
which is a must-have for any Richard space.

I will be contacting Madame Tussauds ASAP
to have the following likeness immortalized
into my own personal wax figure:
Not cut off at the knees, though.
And it has to be life-sized.

If I'm going to have a JT wax figure,
I might as well own the original Gisborne costume,
which was on display at Nottingham castle a while ago.

I'll need a place to store my future
giant collection of ALL Richard Armitage's work...
somewhere high where grubby little hands can't reach.
How about something like this?

It could hang right next to my framed,
hand-painted portrait of this:
(My favorite RA shot.)
It will be oil on canvas, with
special studio lighting shining on it, of course.
Like this one...
but with Richard's handsome face
instead of some wig-wearing guy who looks French
 and is probably famous but I don't recognize.

I'd need a sturdy gun cabinet to store
all of my Porter and Lucas guns when I'm not polishing
them. (Safety is a must when it comes to fire arms, you know!)

Speaking of safety (and on on second thought of that husband
+ owners of the little hands mentioned before) I will have to
have some kind of laser security system in place to make
sure no trespassers (aka: non-RA-lovers)
enter the sanctuary.

There must be a HUGE flat screen to watch all of my
Richard movies, so I can see every detail of his gorgeousness.
And I'll need an old, comfy chair like John Standring's
to sit in while I enjoy those movies.
In fact, I want that exact chair.
Do you think RA's bum print is still
intact after all these years!?

I wonder how much all of this stuff is going to cost?
Some things are just priceless. :)

What goodies would YOU stock in your Richard Room?

*Thanks to littlevictories for the laugh
and inspiration.*


Skully said...

Haha! Hilarious! I have a "music room" chock full of punk rock goodies. I don't ever envisage having a Spooks (or RA) room, but a Richard room would need a pantry of "Lucas" foods... donuts, croissants, coffee etc :)

Unknown said...

Oh how funny! LOVE IT! And that Marlborough Mills shirt is awesome...I need one asap!

Musa said...

I would have a life sized sculpture of RA as Series 3 Gisborne with the original costume and all the belts and buckles, and sword, so I could dress him up, or take it off, depending on my mood.

Colleen said...

Must have the top of the line music equipment with surround sound to listen to all of the movie / tv music soundtracks & of course all of the audio books with that velvet voice. Listening while starring at a picture would involve two senses, better than one! Ok, we need to add smell - hmmm how about yellow roses from the Helstone hedge row?

Myrtle said...

You would need to have chocolate cake in your room Nat:D

So funny, makes my little bookcase shelf seem quite pathetic!!

pi said...

A hologram of RA and a holodeck. ^^

I would also keep a small dusty room for the exigencies of RL.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic post!

This really made my day. I hope you and your stuff have a great time together. :)

Twinkling Moon said...

OMG, freakin' hysterical!

@Nat, I have never understood the logic behind horizontal stripes either, LOL! I went to the link where you can get that Richard stuff, and I have to ask, am I the only one that didn't know there was an actual website that says "Richard Armitage gifts" I feel like I must have been living under a rock not to have known about that site!

And regarding the portrait of the "frenchman," I don't know what it is about those old pics of men in wigs, but I always assume their french :)

@Colleen, funny you should mention that "smell" should be incorporated into the Richard room...we've had discussions on this blog about what Mr. A might smell like, I don't think any of us every brought up roses, but your suggestion for it in the Richard Room makes total sense for viewing purposes!

So, RA's outfit went on display in a museum, mmmh? Does that mean he didn't get to keep one for himself?

Anonymous said...

Oh Nat, this is so funny. I was having such a rotten day until I read this.

I love the suggested additions to your Richard room too. I wish I had been clever enough to cover all the senses.

You're also obviously going to need something similar to the "Bat Phone" so misguided souls who don't yet know RA have a direct line to your guidance. (We may have to battle it out for that chair though. Bum prints... too funny.)

Anonymous said...

@Twinkling Moon
I didn't know there was such a site either, but now that you've mentioned it I'm going to visit it immediately.

Avalon said...

Good luck on the Little Guy action figure...been looking for awhile.

And your hubby might not like a Guy

Anonymous said... absolutely Rock !! Thank you for making me laugh tonight...

Best Regards,
Christina P

mulubinba said...

Lololol!!! Ok, what about a replica train station seat from the final scene of N&S ... could go under the window.

You would have to have an AppleMac as RA is a Mac User, I think.

A monet painting on the wall ... or even better a print of RA as Monet painting :)

MTA: You may need to leave room in the weapons cabinet for Guy's sword...

Phylly3 said...

You definitely need to have a prominent place to display your Stick Figure Richard artwork! :)
Great post!

Anonymous said...


Oh the sword how could you forget it!

Besides the Mac, you'll put your (Lucas)iPhone.
You'll also need JP sunglasses when the sunlight hits your window.

I visited the link you posted, they have a 'Gizzy's girl' t-shirt!

OML :)

@Rob said...

So funny, so clever. You nailed it yet again. I would love to get the my other husband is richard a, but I think that would put hubs over the edge.

I would get one of those life sized card board cut outs of my fav RA characters.

Sue said...

I remember hearing that someone had pulled Guy's leather trousers down around the dummy's ankles, which was on display at the museum. Perhaps they were imagining Richard was really underneath all that gear?(Good job it was only a dummy, imagine what would have happened if it had been the real thing!)

That photo of John Standring, in Sparkhouse, sitting on that old floral chair was supposed to be in his own home. I remember his room was very untidy. Which begs the question how tidy is Richard's room/home". Do you think it's a tip, or bright and shiny clean (perhaps his mum dusts and hoovers for him on a regular basis?)

Nat at RA FanBlog said...

Everyone knows I'm just kidding about having an RA room, right? Although some of those collectibles sound pretty cool... like that Marlborough Mills T-shirt!

venthesikymi said...

The "chair" comment, was divine!!!
(RA is cute, but not my favourite, so, no RA room for me...I d' like a Sean Bean room instead :)

Twinkling Moon said...

Aww, Nat, you weren't serious about the RA room, ;)

@Littlevictories, glad to know I wasn't the only one who hadn't heard of the RA merchandise site :)

Anonymous said...

This post was so funny, as all Nat's posts are. Witty to the nth degree.

I'm sure that very proper backside would leave some imprint.

Good luck between the nursery and the furnishing of an RA room - I think we all know what the priority is here? Kids first! But Mum's talents are part of that!


pi said...


Seriously, does someone think you actually wanted a Richard Room? If so, I'm bemused and shocked. Seriously??? Your musings???

Hey, I mused upon an outrageous, unreal RA hologram complete with holodeck. How real is that??

Cut them loose, whoever they are, and pay no nevermind.

Verified word: negguffd- Is that akin to a McGuffin or a guffaw?

tyme_4_t said...

...along with JP's sunglasses you will need Harry's glasses (eye & wine) in there too!
great one Nat!

RAFrenzy said...

Hysterical as always, Nat, and yeah, I knew you were kidding. But if you relent and do build a Richard Room, can I come visit? I'll give you my Little Guy. :D

Anonymous said...

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Wren said...

My richard room would just have two things: A very nice bed and Richard.

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