Every Knot-Head down in Nottingham liked Christmas a lot… but the Giz, who lived just north in Locksley, did NOT!
The Giz hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his belt wasn't buckled on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his boots were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all, may have been that his leather was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, his boots or his threads,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Knot-Heads,
staring down from the castle with a brooding, Gizzy frown,
at the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Knot-head down in Nottingham beneath,
was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
“And they’re hanging their stockings!” he snarled with a sneer,
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Gizzy gloved fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!” For tomorrow, he knew, all the Nottingham girls and boys,
would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Knot-Heads, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they’d feast! And they’d feast! And they’d FEAST!
They would feast on medieval pudding, and rare Sherwood-roast beast.
Which was something the Giz couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN they’d do something he liked least of all!
Every Knot-Head down in Nottingham, the tall and the small,
would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Knot-Heads would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Giz thought of this Nottingham Christmas Sing,
The more the Giz thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”
“Why, for thirty-five years I’ve put up with it now!”
“I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GIZ GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” the Giz laughed as he spat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus scarf and a hat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Gizzy trick!”
“With this scarf and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”
“All I need is a reindeer…” the Giz looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the ol' Gizzy? No! The Giz simply said,
“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called his pal, Vasey. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags and some old empty containers,
On a ramshackle sleigh and he hitched up old Vazer.
Then the Giz said, “Giddap!” and the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Knot-Heads lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Knot-Heads were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
“This is stop number one,” the old Gizzy Claus hissed,
And he snuck in their house, empty bags in his fist.
He slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present! Bows! And arrows! Hooded cloaks! Drums!
Checkerboards! Axes! Teddy Bears! And plums!
While the Knot-Heads were snoozing, the Giz crept through town,
taking gifts and decorations, anything to be found!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took their feast!
He took the medieval pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Giz even took their last can of Knot-hash!
It was quarter past dawn… All the Knot-Heads, still a-bed,
All still asnooze when he packed up his sled.
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
He hid it away in the castle's tallest tower.
He sat a-top of the load feeling mighty empowered!
“PoohPooh to the Knot-Heads!” he was Gizzishly humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!”
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Knot-Heads down in Nottingham will all cry BooHoo!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Giz, “That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And the Giz put his hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Nottingham! The Giz popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Knot-Head down in Nottingham, the tall and the small, was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Giz, with his Giz-boots ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
“It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!”
“It came without packages, boxes or bags!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Giz thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then? Well…in Nottingham they say,
that the Giz’s hair grew several inches that day!
And the minute his leather didn’t feel quite so tight, he whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Giz carved the roast beast!
~Wishing you a warm and Gizzy Christmas season!~
From Nat at The Richard Armitage Fan Blog
* * * * * * *
As you know, this was a twist on the
Dr. Seuss classic "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
For another Seuss/Armitage combo, click
HERE.
The good Doctor is one of my faves.
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