Mar 16, 2011

Fan Letters to Armitage Characters

*FanstRAvaganza Day 3*

A while ago, I asked the question:
If you could write a fan letter to one of
Richard's characters, what would you say?

Here's what a few RA fans wrote...




Sir Guy,

Could you please loan some leather to Mr. Thornton?
He needs to loosen up a bit.


Dear Paul,
When I woke up this morning, you were gone!
I noticed you still had your socks on, but this time you left your shoes!
Stop by later, Hot Stuff...
I'll see you in my dreams.
Love ya,
Your #1 Fangirl (you know who!)

To all Richard's characters, especially Gisborne:

Dear Mr North,
As you are no longer working for MI5 and have a very astute knowledge of all the back alleys of London – and I do not believe you left London the way it was suggestively depicted in Spooks 9.8 – I have a job offer for you. Could you lead theme tours through London, showing all the Spooks-related places and interesting sights? I know, after being head spy for MI5, this might seem a bit of a step down, but at least none of your former colleagues would suspect you still being in London and guiding funny and crazy RA-fans through town. Therefore, it would be the optimal hiding place right under the nose of MI5. Please let me know, if such an idea is interesting for you, as I will visit London soon and would love to attend such a tour myself (as I must admit, I belong to the crazy bunch).
Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.
Respectfully yours,
C. Doart
P.S.: Besides the tour through London, I also would love to hear the real story behind the events of Spooks 9 and your version of the explosion in Dakar.

 Dear Guy,

Which 80s rock star were you channeling with your black leather get up?
Just look FANTASTIC in leather, BTW....

XoXo, Maria

Dear Lucas,

Did you by any chance take that boiler suit home with you?


 Darling John,

If you proposed to ME, I wouldn't turn you down.

Love, Bev

Dear Richard's Beard,
(Er, does that count as a character?)

I am so jealous of you, snuggling up to Richard's face like that!
Remember to mind your manners- don't get too itchy or catch too many crumbs.

~Your Secret Admirer

[Update:  Richard was recently spotted without his beard. 
Click HERE.  "Secret Admirer" must've scared it away. :) ]

Dear Paul,

Got a smashing view of your backside the other day and just had to write and say what a lovely bum you have!  Please feel free to flash those peaches as much as you like, especially in my direction!


Dear Mr. Thornton,

Please don't ever put that cravat back on again.
Oh yes, and where can I find a yellow rose?
I looked in the hedgerow, but to no avail.
Maybe you could come help me?

Your ardent admirer forever,

Cher Monsieur Monet,

Vos eyes are comme le ciel and blue as the sea;
Some melt at the sight, while others just squee.

Your clothes are a mess, and your hair a disaster -
But the poppies and lilies are simply a gasper.

The last, mon cher, was meant as a paeon,
Because those fleurs are a grand turn-on.
Because your eyes are hyacinth blue –
only the goat-beard must go too

To join the clothes in the Seine, never to be seen again.
The rest may stay and delight all nous;
To feast our eyes on a lovely vous.

Excusez, je beg, mon franglaise,
Malheureusement, I am not une francaise...


Dear Sir Guy,

If you need help getting into that oh so tight leather you know where I am.


PS-I'll be your Marian

WTF?!! Sorry, I promised myself I'd remain calm. I do feel for you. It's just not fair! I mean there you were, shut away from the world in that Russian prison camp for 8 years being tortured and half starved...that part was true wasn't it? Then you come back and find out your ex-wife turned into a Russian spy and treats you like a leper! When you finally meet a woman who seems to care for you, she turns into a two-faced killer with antifreeze in her veins and a master plan for world domination. I really enjoyed the way you finally told her off. That was great! Except that you must have forgotten when you said those words to her that you were in fact exactly the same, but I guess you didn't know yet because the scriptwriters failed to inform you (probably because they hadn't written that part yet).
So because I am your fan, I am refusing to believe all those bad things you supposedly did before you joined the Spooks team. I will even ignore the very questionable way you behaved in the last few episodes of series 9. I mean, how could you even think of doing any harm to dear old Malcolm? I think the Russians brainwashed you, and something in that suitcase triggered you into acting like a rogue agent. It's all a huge lie which will be explained properly some day if there is any justice in the world! Oh help! That's a very big IF!
Until then, stay strong, fight the good fight and remember what William Blake says:
A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.
Your fan,

Dear Guy,
I was going to suggest you wear something other than black leather every once in a while, but then I realized how wrong that would be.
Please don't ever wear anything other than black leather.
Sorry about Marian. I don't know why she went and died on you.
*I* wouldn't have.
Lots of love,

John Thornton, Manufacturer & Magistrate
Marlborough Mills

It has come to my attention that you have recently come into some £15,000. Pursuant to this fact, I have undertaken steps to sue you on behalf of a certain Mr. Stevens, a defenseless man who was not your equal, and who, on the afternoon of Nov. 17 inst., was thoroughly beaten up by you.
Furthermore, this incident was witnessed; to wit: some 40,000 Ladies of Good Standing through a new scientific invention called a DVD, which, like Mr. Awkwright’s invention of which you yourself are said to admire, provides irrefutable evidence that aforesaid incident did indeed take place.
My firm has sent out inquiries all over the globe to aforementioned Ladies for written depositions confirming the incident. We were very pleased to receive an immediate response favorable to my client from a Miss Latimer of Milton, who tells us she is eagerly looking forward to testifying against you. Oddly enough, though, all other depositions received so far, while agreeing wholeheartedly that my client was nowhere near your equal, are also of the opinion that my client was a fool who put everyone at risk. It’s clear then, that you have got to them first, and in a big way. I am undaunted nevertheless, and only await two more of the necessary witnesses to come forth to proceed with the case.

Please consider this letter only as a fair warning between gentlemen (not you so much, but me certainly.)

Henry Lennox, Esq.

P.S. I assure you that this lawsuit has nothing whatever to do with your lately betrothed, Miss Hale, for whom I still have the utmost respect despite her (pretty weird, frankly, in my view) opinions in regard to knowing a good thing when she sees it.

~submitted by runeybette

Dear Ralph John Standring,

It came as a surprise to your bride-to-be and the viewers of the BBC series of Sparkhouse to learn that your first name was Ralph and this surprise is in many ways symptomatic of the kind of man you are. You seem to be a very shy, awkward country bumpkin, in your grungy woolly jumpers and your multicoloured jackets. Your curly shaggy hair almost conceals your face and seems to reside under a woollen beanie before you get your hair cut. For me you are the epitome of that old adage "all that glitters is not gold." Even before the make-over, the observant viewer can make out the contours of the man you are. You reside with your grandfather, taking good care of him. When the old man dies, the church is packed with friends and well-wishers, as you tell Carol. That suggests that your grandfather was well-liked and respected in the community and I’m sure you share some of that regard. You are kind and loyal. Even those seemingly undeserving of people’s good opinion as Carol’s vicious dad are never subject to your contempt, but treated with care as a human being. You are a farmer and it is never suggested that you are anything but good at what you do. You are loyal in service and continue to work long after others would have left Carol’s feckless father to his own downfall. You are a good friend to Lisa from the beginning.
Under those overalls we notice the man. Broad shoulders that can bear troubles, long legs that stride about your work, strong arms that can help in a crisis, long delicate fingers that caress and care for and blue blue eyes that shyly express concern and love. You have loved Carol for the longest time, but it is when she suggests that you get together to make Andrew jealous that you realise that you love her as a man loves a woman. You have your moments of insecurity, of acute embarrassment and where you are tentative and unsure of how to approach your woman. You are overjoyed when she suggests marriage, but you are not willing to settle for less than a real relationship and hopefully, kids. Carol’s old attachment to Andrew threatens your relationship, and you now show your manliness. Your stature grows, your back straightens, you’re willing to take on Andrew and put him in his place. Meanwhile, even though you discover Carol’s direst secret, you bleed for her and reassure her with the most touching lines in the series, ”Never think you can’t tell me anything.”
You are born and bred in Yorkshire and like the Yorkshire landscape, you symbolise the seemingly unimpressive, but steadfast unto death. I see your true worth!

Your admirer,

A big thanks to everyone who participated! :)

Now it's your turn!
If you could write a letter to one of
Richard's characters, what would you say?


MillyMe said...

@Skully: Mmmm, I hear you! Lucas is the stuff of dreams!

Dear John Porter, last seen driving through the dusty landscape in a desert combat Land Rover Defender 110 series 111, please head due north and keep going until you reach The Land of the Midnight Sun. There is a cozy haven for you chez moi!

Charleybrown said...

Great letters! I especially enjoyed Henry Lennox's lawsuit by runeybette :)

Brown-eyed Girl said...

I watched "Sparkhouse" for the first time last night, and was very touched by MillyMe's letter to John...
You've said everything I wanted to say, had I the talent to express myself.

That role only confirmed what I already knew: Richard is indeed an amazing actor. He was so brilliant in this role that I almost forgot it was him... I had to remind myself that this was the same person that played John Porter and Harry Kennedy.

Kisses from Portugal to you all!

Sandra Xanoquita

mulubinba said...

These are great letters! Mine?

Dear Sir Guy,

Forget Marian and find yourself a woman who will really care for you.


Ann Marie said...

The lawsuit cracked me up but all of the letters had their own sincerity and humor and sweetness....

tyme_4_t said...

Great letters!
@C. Doart - Sign me up for that tour!

Dear Harry,
This is a difficult letter to write as I do not wish to spoil the apparent happiness you have found in Dibley.
However, I cannot allow the lie to continue. You see, I am Geraldine Grainger! The woman you have married is an imposter and stole my identity.
I was hired to replace the old Vicar of Dibley, however I suffered an accident when I was pushed into a chocolate fountain head first and suffered from a concussion and amnesia. This imposter "Dawn" thought I drowned and since we have similar builds and hair colour, slipped seamlessly into the position of the new vicar.
I have only recently been given a suitcase filled with photos & other trinkets which has jogged my memories.
Do not confront the fake "Vicar" at this time. I am rounding up a "removal team", including your sister Rosie, who works for MI5. She has recently returned from Chile - long story...
It is probably best if you get out of Dibley. I have included a plane ticket to Nova Scotia. Please remember to pack some of your stripey sweaters as it can be a bit chilly here. Once you are safely on the plane, the team will move in and take care of "the Vicar".
I will meet you at the airport and you will know me by the yellow rose I will be holding. At that point we can meet and "de-brief".
I promise you that I will make this right and we - I mean - you will find the happiness again.

The real Geraldine Grainger AKA tyme4t

PS Please do not be concerned that your ticket is one-way ;)
PPS Please wear your glasses 8)

JaxFoodieFreak said...

LOL the lawsuit, classic!

Apprentice Seamstress said...

Dear Mr. Thornton,
Can you stop with your infinite hotness? My friend is completely taken in and I still cannot convince her that there are plently other men who are quite as dashing as you.. Well their aren't that many but I am still trying.


Ivania said...

Hey!! Milisande!! There ARE no other ones. So there.

hahaha, my favorite was the lawsuit one!

Violet8886 said...

All these are great! I love the mix of characters and the mix of serious and humor in many of them. Lots of creative ladies here. :0

Anonymous said...

Love them all:)

Dear Mr. Thornton (John)
Look in hedgerow - look HARD.
There I will be sitting - waiting for you.


pi said...

Bwah! All the letters are so clever and creative and just plain lovely!

Dear Mr. Thornton

Pursuant to our conversation regarding my recently purchased cotton mill, I am, indeed, looking for someone to consult on the running of it. I understand that you have been very successful in all your endeavours and treat your workers fairly and humanely. I am not sure though if the building and machinery will meet your exacting standards. As it is several hours train ride away, and if you are interested, I propose that you initially stop by my rooms at the Milton Hotel to peruse the relevant etchings.

Yours, etc.

Anonymous said...

To Sir Guy of Gisborne,

You have been watched for sometime and it is felt you have the necessary credentials to assume a role as an agent for the Government of Richard, King of England. Should you wish to avail yourself of the offer, you will be met at the stroke of the third hour past midday today at Ye Olde Warehouse, London.

Sir Henry Pierce of Thames House.

MillyMe said...

Dear bad boy John Mulligan

I won't turn you down if you woo me with fish and chips. But hurry, you'll be doing porridge soon enough!

bccmee said...

Love these, and I'm impressed by the fact that you got others to do your homework for you, Nat. ;)

Riv said...

Love the letters! :) I was looking forward to this. Great stuff yet again, Runeybette!

Musa said...

Letters are fabulous, and comments too! Everyone is so creative -I laughed and I cried :)

Skully said...

I'm still waiting for a response to mine. Dum spiro spero...


Apprentice Seamstress said...

Oh gwen..... :(

Teuchter said...

Dear John.

No this is not that kind of a "Dear John" letter so don't worry that gorgeous head of yours. I will never give you up!

Which "John" am I referring to, you ask? Well there are a few I must admit, but you, John Thornton, were and always will be my first love.

Mind you, hearts can be fickle so if you keep hankering after Margaret all the time I might have to transfer my affections to heroic John Porter, or even sweet John Standring. Rest assured that the rumour that there is someone called John Bateman hanging around somewhere is totally unfounded!

Your loving Mother.

PS Remember what I told you long ago "A Mother's love holds fast and forever".

Nat at RA FanBlog said...

I've loved reading all the "fan letters." And heck yes, I got others to do my homework, bccmee! :) I do it around here often. (My fave was the limericks in honor of RA's last b-day.)

joanna said...

O no Nat please do your homework.I will help you with kids .

NovemberBride said...

@Alfie...I have this pic of a poor scratched up Alfie perched amongst all those roses, fighting off ants and getting sunburned!! "Look HARD!" ROTFLOL!!! May JT arrive SOON!!

Anonymous said...

These letters are priceless, though the lawsuit had me in stitches.

Dear Sir Guy,

The Sheriff tells me you are the castle chatalaine. Therefore I wish to complain that my bedchamber is quite drafty and my door refuses to shut. As you know I am sensitive to bad air and usually abed. Please make sure my door is firmly closed, preferably from the inside.

A lady in waiting,

NovemberBride said...

"Miss Hale, for whom I still have the utmost respect despite her (pretty weird, frankly, in my view) opinions in regard to knowing a good thing when she sees it."...funniest line of runybette! This whole letter is jam packed with goodies...