Over the Hill and Out of the Closet ~ by guest blogger Phoebe

Over the hill: a. relatively advanced in age.

b. past one's prime Cultural Dictionary

Come out of the closet: To publicly announce a belief or preference

that one has kept hidden. “At the last moment, the woman came out of the closet and announced

her passion for Richard Armitage."  (See skeleton in the closet.) American Heritage®

New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition

OK! I admit it. I am Over the Hill and I have no business having

a crush on such a babe as Richard Armitage at my point and time in life,

but I just can't help that I am the oldest living RA Fangurl.

IT IS NOT MY FAULT! IT IS NOT MY FAULT!

Blame it on the Recession and the Internet!

Yes, like so many other things that are off balance today, it is the bankers to blame and the government! If the banking and housing crisis hadn't occurred I would have been too busy with work to play around with the computer. I would have been working long hours to come home and relax in front of another episode of Law and Order and off to bed. It is the fault of the Internet too - after all the Internet was the gateway to this obsession. I could Google RA and find 15 pages of photos & links to blogs, articles and sites. The more I saw and read the more I wanted - yes, needed! It's like a porn addiction (not that I know anything about porn) cause the internet makes it all to easy for me to go to RA Fantasyland 24/7 for a fix and release from my boring real life. That damn Internet lead me to Youtube and all of the videos done by fans for Margaret and John and to N&S and then to www.richardarmitageonline.com, which was so much fun to read. (A gold mine of possible topics of conversation) In no time flat I was amazed that I knew more about Richard than I knew about my lifelong friends. YIKES!

Why has a pillar of the community like myself been sucked into this charybdis of passion

(my favorite description from N&S)? Who knows!? Perhaps it's hormones, Internet pheromones, boredom, longing for romance or the fact that Richard Armitage is a work of art.

Me? Well I'm past caring why.

I have read numerous blog posts that try to successfully analyze why Richard makes so many

women feel connected to him. For the most part they all have points that ring true for me, but reality sets in. Yes, every time I walk past a mirror I get the shock of my life - OMG, it's Norma Desmond!

What am I doing!? People will think I am crazy - or pervie or more likely inappropriate

(which is a word that has been used to describe me in the past).

* Tips for Coming Out - An Ongoing Process *

Phase One ~ Passive:

Do you remember when you had a real passionate crush

& all you wanted to do was talk about the subject of your passion?

Well, that is just how it is for me when it comes to Richard Armitage.

Is it that way for you?

If you are like many of his admirers you are pretty isolated (not so for you lucky Brits) and long for someone to share your feelings with who understand. A great place is to join a forum where you will learn to use smileys that 'thud', improve your vocab by learning works like 'phoar', 'peaches', 'crinkles' and you can study in detail every inch of him that he will let us see. On some forums you can indulge in discussion of his dental work but it is hard to find a place to chat about his love life. Yes, his fans are protective. One place where you can find some amazing topics are the blogs which give you plenty of space to come out and comment. Lastly, a daily visit to RAnet.com and RAonline is a must for it is here that you can get the latest news on his comings and goings and an easy place to enjoy photo galleries and lastly the place where you can read RA's love letters to his fans. This is what I call the passive phase because you don't use your photo or your real name and address. You might find that this will satisfy your urge to talk about RA - to ooo and ahhh and crush away! It is a great way to share poetry, fan fiction and amazing graphics. For some of us (and I am one the Lurkers) it is the most comfy place to be. It is amazing how bright and interesting RA's Bloggers and forum members are. There is a blog for every woman's taste.

Phase Two ~ The Real Deal - Coming out to

Friends, Family and Co-workers:

Steps to help you with your Outting:

First step - put a favorite photo of Richard Armitage on your desktop

which will give you an opportunity to answer questions like: Who is that? Why do you have

him on your desktop? You're weird. Changing the photo frequently is recommended.

Second step - Eat lunch at your desk and wear earplugs

so that you can watch videos and have co-workers leer at you or load up

your smart phone. Think of good responses for 'you're so weird.'

Third step -Bring in your Richard Armitage photo mug which you can carry to

the coffee room to get a refill and enjoy another question and answer opportunity.

'Who's that?' "Richard Who', 'What show is he on?' and a guaranteed final

question: 'Why do you have that guy on your mug?"

Fourth step: buy several copies of North & South so that you can lend

one to co-workers. You can tell the guys that it's about trade unions as a selling point!

Also a good way to convince significant others to watch four hours of TV.

Caution: It is not recommend that you wear your Mrs. Richard Armitage t-shirt

that you found on EBay UK on casual Friday. Even I think that is a little too weird!

Fifth Step: Formulate a segway to shift conversation to Richard Armitage

in casual conversation. Just a suggestion, you can use discussion about The Hobbit

as a convenient way to talk about RA. If you think RA has a long nose you should see what

they have done to it for the films or Did you know he speaks Maori?  The subjects are endless.

If you have a significant other who is sporty you can talk about rugby and then share a screen cap

of RA in motion. Remember to breathe evenly. Or perhaps talk about skiing and how poor RA

can't ski because he is filming The Hobbit, which once again brings up another topic.

Tip for at home: buy a jar of Marmite and smear it on your SO's toast...

then while he winces you can share that it is a favorite of your favorite actor.

Or did you know that Leistershire is pronounced Lestershear? (US)

Or perhaps: RA has a chicken pox scar just like you do?

If you are finding that your family and friends give you a vacuous stare,

don't be discouraged. The more you introduce RA into conversations the more accustomed

they will become and knowledgeable too. Hopefully soon they will be able to fully

discuss these stimulating topics with you.

Sixth step: put Misty Mountain Cold on a loop at home or the office.

Seventh step: If you are having girl friends over why not pop in the CD player

one of Richard's Audio Books and if it is a guy - I recommend the Lords of the North

or perhaps have Strike Back running in the background. The guys love Strike Back

and RA in uniform is a sight to be savored.

In conclusion: the name of the game is frequency and level of exposure.

Just a caution: If you still 'blush' when you answer the questions

or hear his name I recommend practicing your breathing. You don't want to

go through the embarrassment of co-workers or friends laughing at you,

not that it happened to me or anything.

Family and friends have gotten used to this Foolish Passion by now but

occasionally I still hear a groan or ‘But Mom he's 40! He is almost my age!' or

'OMG, it's that British guy again' or 'Inappropriate' and a laugh or two at my expense.

I will say that when I think of the different techniques I used to integrate RA

into my real life, the best was the photo gallery of the men in my life.

*        *        *        *        *

About Lynne (RL) aka: Phoebe of C19 ~

Female - US East Coast Liberal - Married - Mother of Four

Real Estate Broker - Anglophile - Interests: too many.

Nat's Notes: I met Lynne (Phoebe or just P) on C19 a few years ago. 
As you can tell, she is a hoot!!! I laughed out loud throughout this entire post. 
Thanks, P!  (Since you think you're so old, will you be my adopted grandma?)