Nov 1, 2009

"RA Character Support Group Meeting" by Suzyq

Many RA fans love to read/write Richard Armitage-inspired fanfic.
I've only read a couple and they're enough to make me blush quite a bit!
Here's a rather tame piece of fanfic written by a friend of mine, Suzyq,
who agreed to let me share it.  It's very cute and funny, so enjoy! 

RA Character Support Group Meeting - October 26, 2008
by Suzyq

John Thornton       Ian Macalwain       Gisborne              Ricky Deeming         John Standring

      Dr. Track         William Chatford     Peter MacDuff          Monet                       Lee

Harry Kennedy       Phillip Durrant      Percy Courtenay     Paul Andrews        Lucas North

(Not pictured: Star Wars Pilot, Phillip Turner, Smug Man)

John Thornton turns the corner of the hall and heads to the meeting room. As he passes the members, he nods politely in greeting or says an occasional, “Evening.”

Following close behind him is Capt. Ian Macalwain in his uniform and standing by the door is Guy of Gisborne, the first to arrive it would seem. Mr. Thornton passes into the room. Guy follows the two men into the room and as he moves past, Capt. Ian holds out his hand to Guy saying, “Mr. Gisborne, you know you’re not supposed to have your weapons in here.”

Reluctantly, Guy unsheathes his sword with its characteristic clang and hands it over to the captain who places it on the table behind them. Guy turns to move into the room, but the captain again stops him with an outstretched hand. “And...”

With a sneer, Guy begrudgingly hands over his small cat-like claw and heads to the front of the room where Mr. Thornton is standing. As Guy stands in the front behind Mr. Thornton, he sees the others filing in and sees Capt. Ian stopping the Star Wars fighter pilot to check his weapon too.

Mr. Thornton checks his pocket watch and says to Capt. Ian, “Can you please close the door, I think we’re all here.”

As Mr. Thornton opens his mouth to start the meeting, he realizes that Guy is standing directly behind him with arms folded looking out over the other members.

“Guy, you don’t have to stand behind me, I’ve told you before. Go have a seat.”

Guy heads off to sit in a front row seat next to Ricky Deeming. Guy looks over at Ricky and says, “Nice jacket.”

“Thanks, mate,” Ricky says in answer.

“Okay, let’s start with a few announcements,” Mr. Thornton starts only to see a hand raised.

“Yes, John?” Mr. Thornton addresses John Standring.

“Would anyone like some tea?” John S. asks.

“Not right now, John, but thanks for asking,” Mr. Thornton says politely and continues on. “Dr. Track has informed me that William Chatford has come down with food poisoning and will not be present at today’s meeting. Also, Dr. Track would like to remind everyone that we are approaching flu season and you should see about getting your flu shots. Next, Macduff has arranged for some snacks for after the meeting. Thank you, Peter. Claude has offered, if anyone’s interested, to paint your portraits. See him after the meeting if you’re interested. Lee would like to let you know the pool at the Community Center is closed for repairs. Thank you for the info, Lee.” Mr. Thornton looks up to see Lee on his cell phone obviously flirting with another of his conquests.

Lee looks up and sees the eyes of the other members on him, “Oh, sorry,” and hangs up.

“Give it a rest man,” Phillip Turner seated next to Lee says to him.

“Before we go any further, Harry has an announcement to make about the dues. Harry...” and Mr. Thornton steps aside for Harry Kennedy to come to the front of the room. Harry reaches in his inside pocket of his jacket and puts his glasses on to read the paper in his hand.

“Yes, I’ve worked out this year’s figures for the dues for each member,” Harry lowers his head to look over the top of his glasses saying, “because I am an accountant.”

“Honestly!” Phillip Durrant says to no one in particular, “Does he have to say that every single time? We know he’s an accountant for God’s sake!”

Guy and Ricky smirk to one another.

Harry continues on, “and I’ll give you each a statement before you leave tonight.” Harry removes his glasses and takes his seat again as Mr. Thornton moves back to the center.

“Thank you, Harry, and congratulations on your recent marriage. To continue, John Standring has asked for volunteers to help with the landscaping work in the front of the building next weekend. There’s a sign-up sheet in the back if you’re interested in helping. We also have some CD’s for sale on the back table...Marie Lloyd: The Golden Years...”

Percy Courtenay stands and shouts, “Can we have just one meeting without someone mentioning the great Marie Lloyd?!”

“Percy, calm yourself and sit down please,” Mr. Thornton says and Percy sullenly sits down reaching inside his jacket pocket for his cigarette case. “Oh, and Percy, remember there’s no smoking in here. Moving on, Paul has decided to step down as leader of our young fans group...very wise decision, Paul. If anyone would like to take over that group,” and without looking up, Mr. Thornton says, “put your hand down, Lee,” which Lee sheepishly does. Mr. Thornton continues on with, ”please see Paul and he will fill you in if you’re interested.”

Mr. Thornton looks out over the members and asks, “Does anyone have any questions or concerns at this time?” He sees Philip Durrant has his hand raised and sighs in exasperation knowing what is coming. “Philip.”

“I smell sheep,” Philip says with a decidedly sour expression on his face.

“Philip, you say that at every meeting. I’ve told you before, John can’t help the smell. Now are there any other comments or questions.” Looking up, Mr. Thornton sees a hand raised, “Yes, Smug Man?”

“When do you think I can get a real name?” Smug Man from This Year's Love asks.

Mr. Thornton answers him patiently, “We’ve been over this before, Smug Man. We can’t give you a name. Your part just wasn’t big enough. I’m sorry. Anyone else?”

Mr. Thornton sees Peter Macduff has his hand raised and calls on him. “Yes, Peter?”

“Why were we so late in getting the room tonight?” Peter asks.

“It appears the Guyaholics meeting ran long tonight. They were having a Q & A session with some guest speakers, the writers of the last two episodes of Season 2, and things got out of hand. Capt. Ian was able to get things under control and help escort the writers safely out of the building. Perhaps this is a good time to remind everyone that angering Guyaholics is never a good idea, they can be rather aggressive.”

Everyone looks to Guy who tries to look as innocent as possible in light of his dedicated following behaving badly.

“Carrying on,” Mr. Thornton says to get the attention of the group again, “as always, we have baskets of peaches sent in by the fans at the back tables. Please help yourself to those.”

“Thanks a lot for that one, Paul,” Percy says sarcastically.

“What do you mean by that?” Paul asks defensively.

“It’s because of you showing our bare arse that we hear about peaches wherever we go,” Percy grumbled.

“What about Lee and his Speedo? Don’t tell me that didn’t cause a stir!” Paul returned.

Lee looked pleased with himself as he took great pride in how he looked in that Speedo.

“Or what about Guy and his tight leather trousers?! How many times do we have to hear about that?” Paul finished on a huff with other members murmuring their agreement.

Mr. Thornton raised his hands to still the dissension saying, “Gentlemen, settle down please. Look, we can’t unring the bell, so to speak. Our fans are very observant and give everything their full time and attention, including our, uh, peaches.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Lee chimed in.

“Said the gigolo gym rat,” Percy said under his breath.

“Before we wrap up the meeting,” Mr. Thornton said again trying to rein the guys in, “there is one more announcement I need to make. We will be having a new member, a Lucas North. Let’s make sure we welcome him. I understand he’s had a rough time and we should all make sure he feels welcome. Macduff, make sure you bring more food for the next meeting, I have a feeling Mr. North may be quite hungry. Well, that should do it for tonight. See you all next time,” Mr. Thornton concluded just as his cell phone rang. “Hello? Yes, Mother, I won’t forget to bring you home a gallon of milk. Yes, Mother. No, Mother...”

Thank you for sharing, Suzy! :)

FYI, I'm going to be out of town a lot this week, plus planning a big family party for Friday,
so the posts with be sporadic.  (There are some cool things in store, however, so stay tuned!)


mulubinba said...

This was great!! Thanks Suzy for sharing!!

WitchyWoman said...

Lol that was really great Suzy..
I must admit I love reading fan fic..although I do not care for the Slash kind but that's just my choice.
On the Spooky Doings blog I have read fiction from Zulu-Ottawa which is brilliant.
There is also a Lucas North story I'm following by LSM71059 called Overnight Therapy which is pretty good too.
Hope you won't stay away for too long Nat...This blog is my daily fix.

Sue said...

From one Susie to another, that was really great. I fell about laughing at the "peaches" comment. Hope you make up a few more scenarios like all Richard's characters meeting. What an imagination! Maybe next time an imaginary meeting of all Richard's leading ladies. Now I would love to be a fly on the wall when they meet up and compare notes!!! (Perhaps they could discuss the "bare arse" - loved that comment!)

Once again well done Suzy!

phylly3 said...

That was hilarious!!! And I agree with Sue, I would love to read a story about his leading ladies' support group. lol

Starheart said...

That was lovely! Towards the end i started wondering where lucas was, and whether he was going to burst in with a gun or something. : )

So he's the newbie.

Longhairedtoad said...

That's pretty funny. It's gtreat you were able to get all the characters in there.

Charleybrown said...

That was very amusing and I don't even know all his characters! Suzy, I second the idea for hearing about the ladies' meeting!

Unknown said...

Ladies, thank you for your comments. This was written last year before Lucas made his debut and there were 2 others meetings after that one. I had planned a meeting where the characters could bring a "friend", but I got sidetracked. I hope to get back to the idea in the future. Thanks to Nat for having such a cool place to read about RA!

Avalon said...

Adorably funny. Very creative.
I must admit I am a Guyaholic.

bZirk said...

How did I miss this?! Oh yeah, the blog reader had about a BAZILLION blogs on Sunday and Monday, so Natalie's got pushed way down in the stack, and I didn't see it. Yada, yada, yada.

I should have known something good would be here. :D

Traxy said...

I normally don't read fanfic either, but wow, it was hilarious! for some reason, the comments about Paul (both about the young fans but especially with the peaches) had me laughing out loud literally. :D

I once started to write a story like this, but with Sam Neill characters, but I quit after a few lines because I couldn't think of a plot. This had one, and a very funny one at that! Brilliant work, Suzy! :D And now I better get back to my coursework... :/

phylly3 said...

I want to so those portraits of RA's characters by Monet!
Monet has always been one of my favourite artists, and I haven't seen that DVD yet! (I am putting it on my Christmas list).
What a coincidence that my fav artist is played by my fav actor! lol
Any artists out there who want to take up the challenge?

phylly3 said...

Oops! that's -- I want to SEE

Anonymous said...

Love it! bless them, everyone!

Anonymous said...

Love it! bless them, everyone!

Melissa said...

That just made my day! Too funny! A great laugh!!