Jan 27, 2014

When Richard Met Mary...

One of my favorite RA buddies, Mary,
met Richard Armitage on January 16th at the 92nd St Y
in NYC at the reading of Pinter/Proust.

Mary is a class act, folks, and the coolest
80-something-year-old I know. (Doesn't she look so much
younger!?)   Besides being a published author and artist, she has
a Facebook account and blog.  (I hope I'm as tech-savvy with
whatever space-age crap they come out with when I'm her age.) 
Plus, Mary is an Armi-lover and has the best sense of humor!

This is an account of her
experience with "Our Richard," as she calls him.

 *  *  *  *  *

Nat:  Okay, Mary... let's get this out of the way up front.
Did you or did you not give Richard's bum a nice squeeze when you met him?
Mary: Why do you ask me such a question, Nat!?
Do you not consider me a totally sensible, sane person?
Of course I gave Our Richard's bum a nice squeeze!
Nat:  I knew we were friends for a reason, Mary.

 Nat: Was there a line to meet him? 
If yes, how many ladies did you have to knock out of your path 
as you bulldozed your way to the front?
Mary: Well, I would say we were more of a mini-mob. I only knocked 3 (that I'll admit to) women out of the way, because they were so much smaller than me. The rest were busy knocking ME out of the way.  But as I worked my way forward, I kept saying in a loud voice: "Please (name with-held to protect the guilty) don't push me ahead of these other nice ladies like that! It's not polite!" and the crowd bought it, and let me go through.  That's because I have this way of looking like a rather harmless, sweet OLD LADY who is not capable of the bad behaviour I'm capable of. And that's how I finally managed to bulldoze … I mean, how I managed to get up front.

Nat: Upon meeting The Armitage, how would you rate your swooning
on a scale of "Meh" to "Died on the Spot" ?

Nat: What did Richard smell like!?!
Mary: OMG!  I forgot to smell him! What a missed opportunity!!!
Nat:  What the crap, Mary!?  (Next time, my friend... next time!) 

Nat: Tell us the truth... Did you steal his wallet? 
Any other souvenirs from the night?
Mary: Of course I didn't steal his wallet - I am not a wallet thief. What a question!
I stole his credit card.
But when I went to use it afterwards, I couldn't manage to forge that darned signature of his, 
and they threw me out of the jewelry store. (I'll never be able to shop at Tiffany's again!) 

Nat: Please describe what happened when you met Richie-Poo.
(Quick "hi" and picture or was there a deep, heartfelt conversation in which you exchanged numbers?)
Mary: While Richard continued to sign autographs, I continued to stand next to him (to the obvious dismay of the guard nearby who kept motioning for me to go away), and so Richard and I did manage to have a very deep discussion about the Reading. 
As I recall, it went sort of like this:
Richard: So, Miss ... what'd you think of the Reading?
Me:  Actually I couldn't make heads or tails out of most of what I COULD hear ... and ... even though I'm quite well educated … 
I'm a high school graduate, you know ... I'm not really into Proust OR Pinter.
Richard: Yeh ... me neither. When I look back (and we both burst out laughing when he said THAT), Proust is a little too wimpy and mundane for me. I'm more of a rough and tumble, Gisborne kind of Guy. (And we both laughed. Well, at least I did … although I thought I detected a hint of sarcasm in his voice when he knocked Proust like that. )  Our discussion ended abruptly, as the guard started walking menacingly towards me. I have this innate good taste that helps me realize when I … um … have pushed things a little too far.

You can't stop Mary, fools!

Nat: Tell us about the show. What was your favorite part?
Mary: My favourite part was at the end when Our Richard was taking his bows
along with the rest of the Reading troupe, and he suddenly looked up at me in the balcony,
waved my sketch of him at me, winked and threw me a kiss.

Nat: OMGosh! Did that really happen, Mary? 
Mary: No.  BUT ... if it HAD, that would have been my favourite part.
Nat: That and asking Richard if he remembered you, his former cast mate,
and if he wanted to reenact the TRAIN SCENE from North & South...

Okay, okay... obviously this entire interview is
just Mary and I cracking ourselves up!  If you want
to read the real account of her evening, check
out the true story HERE on her blog.

You can also read her guest post, describing how
she was hit by Thornton-Syndrome HERE.
Thank you, Mary, for always making me laugh! :)


Servetus said...

So so so so glad to see this here. So glad. Congratulations to Mary.

Trudy said...

Mary!!! How did I miss this at C19?!
How fabulous you got to meet him. I'd say a little toosh squeeze trumps noting how he smells. You GO girl!!!!

Anonymous said...

Very entertaining! Thanks to Servetus for sharing.

Nat at RA FanBlog said...

Thanks for sharing this link, Serv! :)

Anonymous said...

What a great story. You cracked me up,as well as yourselves.I seem to overloaded on Richard lately, as I think I spotted him in Costco today, near the batteries.

Anonymous said...

So that broad, I mean lady, with the black beret who tested my New York mettle by holding her ground right in front of the man when I was trying hard, very hard, I know she noticed, to get her to budge aside so Library Girl, yes the very woman SHE wanted to meet, could get to the rope for her photo with him...so that was Mary3. Ha ha ha ha ha! Next time, I'll just introduce myself! I know you well, Mary3, from those C19 caption contests. He doesn't know any of us, but hell, we all know each other! We should just wear name tags. Ha ha ha!!! Armitagebesotted.

Anna said...

Is Mary really 80? Wow, I am amazed... and scared at the same time!! You know why? Because I'm in my 20s and I'm 'fangirling' like this... hoping one day I would "grow up"... but now I'm seeing that this is something women are doing at any age, eh!

The Queen said...

So Mary...it appears we may need an Old Geezer division in the Army? Yep, I qualify too. And we need name badges as suggested. And maybe a t shirt. OK maybe not the shirt. Thank for sharing and thanks Nat for the heads up. Love love love the pic of Our Richard and Mary!! He looks so relaxed and they both ooze "HAPPY"

Nell said...

This is so hilarious! Thank you very much and congrats to you, Mary!

Mulubinba said...

LOL - thanks Mary and Nat. :)

linda60 said...

This is just so funny. Thanks for sharing and for making me laugh. What a joy for Mary.... and us.

ItsMeMary said...

Thank you SO MUCH Servetus, Trudy, richrdtreehouse, {{{Nat}}}, Anonymous, Anna, The Queen, Nell, Mulubinba and linda60 for reading the *interview*, and for all your really nice comments. What is it about Nat tghat brings out the craziness in me? (Or is it that I'm just naturally *crazy*? ;)

Thank you ALL again!

ItsMeMary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Violet8886 said...

Wow what a great experience! He seems to be in the U.S. a lot. Thanks for posting this. Most of us are no doubt jealous! LOL :) :) Yeah! <3

Anonymous said...

pretty nice blog, following :)